My Sobriety Journey through the Lens of my CliftonStrengths
Blog Post #2: August 30, 2023
Our CliftonStrengths® can help us in so many ways in our lives! Our strongest talents (generally those in the top 10 of our results) describe about 80-90 percent of the way we do things – the way we build relationships, get things done, influence others and solve problems. This post is my personal story of sobriety, through the lens of my CliftonStrengths.
I mention elsewhere on this website that I identify with being a former “gray area drinker.” I’d never heard of that term before I did the first 21-Day Reset Challenge in December 2021. I just knew I needed to do something about my drinking and I didn’t know what to do. I was working with an extremely talented coach at the time, who gently nudged me in the direction of curiosity. Coaching helped me enormously during this time.
For that first 21-Day Alcohol-Free Challenge, I leaned heavily on willpower, which can get you through a couple of days of not drinking – but it’s not sustainable for the long-term. Although those first 21 days were difficult (I mean, really hard), I instinctively leaned on my Learner #1 (‘mindset of curiosity’) and Achiever #2 (‘love to get things done’) talents: I had signed up for a program that included a daily email and looked forward to learning something new and interesting. I crossed each day off like a to-do list, aiming to achieve the 21-Day goal. It’s important to note (looking back on this) that these were my natural talents at play here. I had zero awareness at the time that this is what I was doing.
I tried to quiet my Responsibility #3 (‘taking ownership and delivering on commitments to others’) by not telling anyone I was doing an alcohol-free challenge. I wasn’t ready to share with others in the first week or so, because then I’d have to deliver on what I committed to and I was afraid I’d fail! At the time, I didn’t even tell my husband, but instead blew it off as a “cleanse.”
Next up, Input #4 to the rescue! This ‘craving to know more’ talent enjoyed learning from others in the program. The daily articles, book recommendations and additional podcasts fed my need for knowledge at a deeper level.
My Futuristic #5 (‘creates a vividly imaginable future’) honestly did not help me at all in my first couple of months. I was not initially looking for long-term sobriety and frankly did not see sobriety as part of my future. Quit drinking?! No way! I didn’t join this initial program because “I needed to get sober.” I didn’t have a rock-bottom – no DUIs, lost jobs, failed marriages or AA meetings are part of my story.
So after almost 60 days without alcohol in my system, I tried moderating. Of course I had tried “moderating” in years past – no hard liquor, only wine; no drinking during the week, etc. This time was different, I think because I had built up so much knowledge in those 60 days.
For me, moderating was a nightmare. It meant having more rules, counting days/glasses, and feeling miserable watching other people drink. My thoughts almost became obsessive about drinking / not drinking. The decision fatigue was absolutely exhausting; it took up so much mental space! After a couple months of this, I decided to give Not Drinking a try.
My ‘Not Drinking’ experiment has now exceeded 500 days. I now have zero obsessive thoughts about drinking. I also have no desire to consume any of it anymore.
What I’ve learned along this journey? Read more in the next blog post, “You Can’t Unlearn What You’ve Learned.”
Take Action!
It takes a fair amount of bravery to get curious about your drinking habits. That step – going from awareness (shame, judgement, feeling alone and isolated) and moving to action – is not easy.
Action can look like: listening to podcasts, reading a book, looking into an on-line group or signing up for a 30-day experiment. Or it can mean reaching out to a trusted colleague and coach who gets it.
I’d be honored to be the coach you reach out to. I want to share the joys of sobriety with others. I want YOU to feel this same way: liberated – not fixated. Peaceful, confident, brave and strong.
If you want to talk to someone who’s been there and is about 500 days ahead on the journey (as of this writing), please don’t hesitate to reach out. This is a judgment-free zone and 100% confidential.
