“No Need for Labels”
Blog Post #1: June 1, 2023 (updated Jan. 17, 2024)
For this first post, I’m expanding a bit more on the idea that Sobriety Coaching is not the application of a 12-Step Program, because I’ve gotten a few questions, and I just want to be clear! Sobriety Coaching is for gray-area drinkers who are interested in exploring their relationship with alcohol.
Regardless of where you are on the sober-curious spectrum, there’s no need to label yourself as an “alcoholic” or submit to the idea that you are powerless over anything to have curiosity (but if that’s your thing and it helps you maintain sobriety -- great!). Curiosity is an inquisitiveness, and a desire to learn something. One of the key things I learned early on this journey is that alcohol is a highly addictive substance that any human being can become addicted to under the right circumstances. It wasn’t my fault; I wasn’t “broken” or have a disease; and there was something I could do about it.
Perhaps you’re starting to notice your drinking patterns. All it takes is curiosity — not labels — to start this journey. Take a course, read a book, listen to a few podcasts! Start by being curious and see where it leads you.
It’s not helpful to put a label on our drinking habits. The term “alcoholic” can conjure up many negative images, like the ones our culture paints a picture of on TV shows and movies; e.g., the person at the bottom of the bridge embankment drinking out of a brown paper bag. While the medical industry no longer uses the term “alcoholic” to define someone’s medical condition of having an alcohol use disorder, there are many shades of gray on the gray-area drinking spectrum.
Labeling can also fuel the negative judgments about ourselves and can get us stuck in a cycle of negative self-talk. It also limits our thinking to categorizing as “black vs. white” (“good vs. bad” or “right vs. wrong”) without considering the many shades of gray or other alternatives.
The key is to simply be curious about your drinking patterns, the role of alcohol in your life, and start to consider whether or not it is adding value to your life in a positive manner. If you’re an “every now and then” or “take it or leave it” drinker, you’re probably not reading this blog! If alcohol is starting to take more than it gives, perhaps it’s time to look at your options like doing a 31-Day Challenge (like mine!), then raise the bar to 60, 90 or 100 days, or invest in yourself with a full 1:1 coaching package to help you navigate some of your specific challenges.
As far as labels go, I personally identify with the designation is “gray area drinker” because it’s a description vs. a label. Yes, I over-used alcohol in the past, but saying I was an “alcoholic” or that I had a “drinking problem” really serves no purpose for me. It brings up negative thoughts about myself in a judgmental kind of way. So I’ve let those labels and judgments go.
Negative labeling (also known as “judging” or “black-and-white thinking”) is part of a broader list of unhelpful thought patterns from a psychology perspective, especially when examining your relationship with alcohol.
From a coaching perspective, working on negative thought patterns is one of the most critical first steps to improve our relationships with ourselves. Building a positive self-image starts with self acceptance. I embrace my former drinking self with self-compassion. Overcoming negative self-talk and quieting the inner critic was a huge part of my sobriety journey.
What negative self-talk might be holding you back? Book a call with me if you’d like to start this conversation!
