The Need for Human Connection (DAY 15)
There’s a saying in the recovery community, “Connection is the Opposite of Addiction.” Using the HALT+BS framework, if one of the reasons you drink is L = LONELY, this is an insightful video to watch. And even if that’s not one of your triggers, you should still watch it :-)
Johann Hari is the author of two "New York Times" best-selling books, Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression and the Unexpected Solutions; and Chasing the Scream: The First and Last Days of the War on Drugs.
In this video, he explains some of the addiction research that considered, “What if addiction was about your “cage,” or a result of an adaptation to your environment (vs. a chemical ‘hook’)? Some of the findings he shares:
Human beings have a natural and innate need to bond. When we’re happy and healthy, we bond and connect with each other.
He says, when people have a hard time with happy, healthy, human connection, like if we’re “traumatized, isolated or ‘beaten down by life,’ people will bond with something that gives them some sort of relief, like gambling, pornography, cocaine, canabis, [or alcohol].”
There’s a HW prompt after the video, so keep scrolling til you get to the end of this lesson!
“Everything you think you know about addiction is wrong,” TED Talk by Johann Hari
Copied from the YouTube Intro: TED Talk: “What really causes addiction -- to everything from cocaine to smart-phones? And how can we overcome it? Johann Hari has seen our current methods fail firsthand, as he has watched loved ones struggle to manage their addictions. He started to wonder why we treat addicts the way we do -- and if there might be a better way. As he shares in this deeply personal talk, his questions took him around the world, and unearthed some surprising and hopeful ways of thinking about an age-old problem.”
Regarding the need for human connection, in Laura McKowen’s 2nd book, Push Off From Here: Nine Essential Truths to Get You Through Sobriety and Everything Else, she suggests:
“Have a weekly routine of connection. At least one voice-to-voice conversation (in person or on the phone — texting alone does not count.” Furthermore, she encourages readers:
“If you don’t have the phone number of someone else on this journey, what is your plan to make those connections? For example, join an on-line support group, attend a meetup. Share in the group that you’re looking for connections.
While our friends, family and colleagues may want to be supportive…and might be of great help, we need to have people that understand our experience exactly.”
HW / JOURNAL PROMPT! Consider your social connections. Whether you consider yourself in “recovery” or not, are there people in your network that you can have face-to-face or at least voice-to-voice connections at least once a week? This is a good tip for living a happy, healthy life in general!
